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About Catania

I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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The market is buzzing! Fresh fish everywhere, and the smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly. I grab some prawns and a couple of clams. I’m feeling like a chef already. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle for a fish. She’s going off, waving her hands, and I’m just standing there, laughing. She’s got more energy than I do!

Adriano Berengo’s perfect weekend in Venice