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Funniest shit? One time, dude next room moaned so loud I thought he was auditionin’ for porn! I’m crackin’ up, Tina’s losin’ it, oil everywhere – messy as hell! Oh, and fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands” – sexual-massage joints with bubbles and bows, real polite-like. Blew my mind!

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Finally, I escape and head to the park by the river. It’s beautiful there, with the sun shining and kids playing. I plop down on a bench, just trying to catch my breath. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But it’s kinda entertaining, too.

Sassari still without water: disruptions expected for Tuesday 18 March