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About Florence

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Next, I decide to check out the Parco Secolare degli Asburgo. It’s this beautiful park with ancient trees and a view that’ll knock your socks off. I’m wandering around, feeling all philosophical, when I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, they start arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standing there, eating my gelato, trying not to laugh.

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