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About Bari

We chat, and she spills some tea—says back in ‘89, cops busted a ring run by a dude named “Mad Dog,” who drove a souped-up Chevy like he was in *Fury Road*. Hilarious, right? Guy probly thought he was immortan Joe or some shit—total clown! I’m crackin’ up, but also sad, ‘cause she’s out here dodgin’ creeps like him every night. I’m like, “Mediocre!”—throwin’ shade at the system, ya know?

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First off, I hit the streets of Via della Libertà. Beautiful street, right? But today, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m cruising along, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing pad. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to get to work, and I’m suddenly a pigeon perch. I shoo it away, and it’s like it’s mocking me. I mean, come on, I’m not a statue!

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