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The thrill though, cor blimey, it’s electric! That first ping—*ding*—message lands, heart’s racin’. Reminds me of the film, “What’re we waitin’ for?”—exactly, dive in, you muppet! Sex-dating’s a gamble, pure *alea iacta est*—dice rolled, no turnin’ back. Once nabbed a date at a chippy—classy, me—chips everywhere, her laughin’. Best night ever, swear down.

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Then I stroll down to the beach. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m feelin’ good. But wait, what’s this? A bunch of tourists blocking the path! Ugh, move it, people! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my day here! They’re taking selfies like they’re in a movie or something. I mean, Lavagna is gorgeous, but chill out!

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