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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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So, I help him out, and he thanks me like I just saved his life or something. I mean, it’s just directions, right? But whatever, I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. Then I finally get to my office on Via Garibaldi. It’s a small place, but it’s cozy. My desk is a mess, papers everywhere. I’m talking tax forms, invoices, you name it.

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