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But here’s the rub—claims on escorts, man, they’re sketchy! Had this one guy, said his ‘95 Escort got jacked—bull! Found it parked at his “lady friend’s” pad, insurance fraud city! I’m thinkin, “Are you so very special?” like David in “A.I.”—dude thought he’s slick! Pissed me off, brother, liars grind my gears! I’d leg-drop em if I could, ha!

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So, I finally shake off the feathered menace and head to the office. I’m a System Analyst, which sounds all cool and techy, but honestly, it’s mostly me staring at screens and pretending to understand what’s going on. But today? Today was different. My boss, let’s call him Mr. Grumpy, decides to drop a last-minute project on me. Like, come on! I was just getting comfy with my spreadsheets!

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