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About Bari

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia dei Maronti. Man, the view is killer! The turquoise water, the sun glistening, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I love Ischia.” I grab a gelato—pistachio, of course—and just chill for a sec. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my gelato! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird’s gone, and I’m left with nothing but a sad cone.

Italy landslide: Aftermath of Ischia disaster in pictures