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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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But then, I see a kid crying because he lost his balloon. I’m like, “Oh no, not on my watch!” So, I run over, and I’m like, “Hey, buddy, let’s find that balloon!” We search everywhere, and finally, I spot it stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Hold my coffee!” I climb up a bit, and I’m reaching for it. I’m not exactly a tree climber, but for this kid? Totally worth it.

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