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So, I’m chattin’ with my gal pal Lisa once. She’s all, “Marge, I scored last night!” I’m like, “Whaaat? Spill it!” Turns out, she met this dude on Bumble. Total stud, but—get this—he’s married! Didn’t tell her ‘til after. I was pissed! “You mustn’t be so sensitive,” Haneke’s folks’d say. But me? I’m naggin’, “Hmm… check profiles better, Lisa!”

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I get up, dust myself off, and keep goin’. I hit up a gelato shop on Via delle Vigne. I get pistachio, my fave. It’s like a party in my mouth. I’m walkin’ around, lickin’ my gelato, when I bump into an old friend. We start catchin’ up, and it’s all good vibes.

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