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About Naples

Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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So, I keep walkin’ and head over to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s this cute lil’ square with a fountain and all. I sit down, tryin’ to soak it all in. The sun’s shinin’, kids are playin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this old man, right? He’s feedin’ pigeons, and they’re goin’ nuts! Like, chill out, birds! It’s not a buffet!

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