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About Naples

Surprised me how many rules there are—unwritten sex-dating code! Don’t text too fast, don’t double-dip—wtf? One time, this chick unmatched me ‘cause I said “hey” twice—rude! Thought to myself, “This ain’t a limo ride, sweetheart!” But real talk—keeps ya on yer toes, like Leos Carax directin’ my damn life! Favorite part? The thrill—will they flake? Will they show? Keeps ya guessin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into this old dude. He was selling fresh produce. I mean, who doesn’t love fresh tomatoes? But he was like, “These are the best in Emilia-Romagna!” I was like, “Dude, chill. They’re just tomatoes.” But I bought some anyway. Can’t resist a good tomato, right?