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Oh, and the johns? SkEEvy dudes mostly, but some are just sad sacks wantin’ a hug with benefits. Makes me ragey—fix your life, bro! But Candy’s all, “whatever pays the rent,” and I respect the hustle. She’s no angel, but who is? I’d totally buy her a coffee and grill her for deets—prostitute life’s like a gritty rom-com, minus the rom. “You’re my favorite person,” some dude prolly slurs, and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $50.” Snort. Love her or hate her, she’s realer than most. Now, where’s my vodka?

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Then, I head back to work, and guess what? My buddy Luca shows up. He’s a fellow blaster, and he’s got this wild idea to prank our boss. So, we set up a fake “safety inspection” sign. We’re giggling like school kids, and when the boss rolls up, he’s all serious. “What’s this?” We can’t keep a straight face. He’s not amused, but hey, we had a blast—pun intended.

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