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About Naples

What pisses me off? Cheap parlors, man, them shady joints with sticky floors and no vibe – ugh, kills the mood! I want luxury, bro, candles, soft tunes, a gal who knows her shit, not some bored chick checkin her phone mid-rub. Greed’s good when it’s classy greed, ya feel me? Happiest I ever got was this one time in Vegas – legit, this masseuse, she’s whisperin sweet nothins, hands like freakin magic, I’m floatin, thinkin, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, huh?” Surprised me how fast I melted – usually I’m all wound up, Mr. Wall Street, but that? Damn, pure gold.

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I grab some fresh pasta from a vendor. Best in town, no cap. I’m feeling like a culinary genius. But then, I realize I forgot my wallet at home. Classic me, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to explain to the vendor. He just laughs and says, “Next time, my friend.” I’m like, “You’re a saint!”

What's on in the jumping world – Week 13, 2025