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About Rome

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies had calling cards, proper branding! “Escort services, est. 1880” – mad, innit? Shows initiative, that. Anyway, this lass, she’s chatting me up, says she’s 50 quid. I’m thinking, “Blimey, inflation’s hit the game hard!” Bargained her down to 40 – negotiation skills, mate, pure Brent magic. She’s all, “What you after?” I go, “Bit of gleaning, love – picking up scraps, like Varda says.” She’s confused, but I’m buzzing – authentic experience, this!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I head back to my garden. It’s a mess! The wind knocked over my pots, and my flowers are all droopy. I’m fumin’! I just wanna scream, “Why, nature, why?” But then I remember, it’s all part of the gig. I grab my tools and start fixin’ things up.

Watch out for the scorpion fish. Two new sightings in Calabria — English