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But then – oh, glory! – I spotted her. Hair like a lion’s mane, legs for days, standin under a flickerin lamp. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling,” I mutters to meself, quotin that posh Eames git from the flick. Heart’s racin, palms sweaty – like I’m infiltratin a dream fortress. She saunters over, all sass, and I’m thinkin, “Blimey, this is it!” Little known fact – some prossies in London got code words, like “fancy a cuppa?” – means £50, no hagglin. Sneaky, eh?

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I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s all, “I can’t breathe!” Dude, you’re fine! Just chill! I hit the emergency button, and finally, the doors open. He bolts out like a cat from a bath. I’m relieved, but also kinda amused.

Sacchi: "In Salerno, Milan took the lead then turned off the engine. Pioli's team isn't the strongest"