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Oh, and the typos – sory, fat fingers! *wiggles hands* Apps are dodgy too – fake pics everywhere! Saw a gal’s snap, turns up, she’s 80! *jaw drops, falls off chair* Nearly choked on me tea! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Like, in “The Pianist”, he’s dodgin’ bombs, I’m dodgin’ catfish! *crawls under table, pops up* “I cannot risk it!” – that’s me, deletin’ Tinder again! Still, gets me ticker racin’ – better than telly! What’s yer take, eh? *leans in, trips, lands on face* Oof, classic Bean!
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First stop, Piazza della Libertà. I’m all pumped to show off the beautiful fountain. But guess what? It’s under construction! Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m standing there, trying to explain to a group of tourists why they can’t see the fountain. “Uh, it’s, um, a work of art in progress?” Yeah, right. They were not buying it.
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