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I’m picturin’ it—me, hirin’ a gal, *Only Lovers* style. She shows up, leather jacket, smokey eyes—“This blood is expensive, darling.” I’d lose it! “Expensive? I’m payin’ for vibes here!” Happy? Sure, if she’s chill. Angry? If she’s late—punctuality, people! Surprised? Once saw a hooker dodge a cop by divin’ into a dumpster—Olympic-level move. I was dyin’ laughin’, “Pretty, pretty good escape!”

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I’m sweating bullets. I can feel my heart racing. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who needs this stress? I take a deep breath, and just when I’m about to throw my laptop out the window, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a drink later?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m drowning here!” But then I think, “Maybe a drink would help.”

Spira mirabilis: The orchestra where everyone’s in charge