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Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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Man, what a day! I swear, Forio really knows how to throw a curveball. I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day in this beautiful little town on Ischia. You know, the usual—grab a coffee at Bar Calise on Corso Vittoria Colonna, maybe hit the beach later. But nah, life had other plans.

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