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Hey pal, buckle up! So, erotic-massage—whew, where to start? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, this ain't just rubbin' backs. It’s sensual, steamy, a whole vibe. Picture this: hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter. Kinda reminds me of *White Material*—ya know, my fave flick, Claire Denis, 2009? That slow burn, the heat risin’, “The plantation is my home!”—except here, it’s your body screamin’ ownership.

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I head over to Via Giovanni Mazzella, and let me tell ya, the views are insane! The sea is sparkling, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t every day be like this?” But then I get to the café, and my client is late. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist.

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