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Here’s a little factoid for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” right? I’m imaginin’ that now—blonde wig, toga, standin’ there like, “Hey, big boy, 5 denarii!” Hilarious! But today? It’s all back alleys and shady Craigslist vibes—makes me wanna scream! I’m thinkin’, why’s this still a thing? Legalize it already, tax it, make it less… grimy! I’m pissed, okay—pissed at the system!

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So, we start the tour, and I’m trying to keep the vibe up. We hit up the famous Fiuggi springs. You know, the ones that are supposed to be magical or whatever? I’m all about that wellness life, but honestly, the water tastes like... well, let’s just say it’s not winning any awards. I see a couple of my group members grimace after their first sip. Classic.

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