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Little secret, babe – back in ‘52, folks didn’t swipe, but they had “key parties.” Swingers tossin’ car keys in a bowl, pick one, go home with whoever! Wild, huh? Today it’s all digital, but same game – who’s gonna “drainage!” my heart, like Daniel Plainview says? I’m picky, tho – no creeps, no “I’m a preacher’s son” liars. Had one dude send me a dick pic, unasked! Ew, honey, keep that oil rig to yourself!

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But then, just when I think it’s over, we get another call. A car accident on Via della Storia. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” But duty calls, right? So, we hop back in the chopper, and I’m thinking, “I need a vacation.”

Sting and Trudie Styler’s Tuscan estate