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So, I’m thinkin’—this job’s gotta be ancient, right? Like, back when Tsars were pimpin’ or whatever. Bet they had a code for it—OC 69-420, “Whore, Grade III, Tariff: 2 Rubles.” Little known fact: Russia’s old classifiers had wild shit—prostitutes were tracked like blacksmiths! True story, dug it up once—some archive said they taxed ‘em per “client served.” Commies kept it hush-hush, tho—didn’t fit the “glorious worker” bullshit.

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But then, out of nowhere, this group of tourists comes by, and they’re all loud and obnoxious. Like, can’t you see we’re trying to enjoy the ambiance here? They start taking selfies, blocking the whole street. I’m like, “Dude, move it or lose it!” But they just laugh and keep posing. Ugh, people!

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