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But ugh, the drama! Fights over who’s bangin’ who. Jealousy, tears—makes me wanna choke ‘em all. “This is an institution of prestige!” I’d yell, quotin’ my fave flick. Nah, it’s a zoo. Sex-dating’s a power trip—control, lust, chaos. Seen it turn quiet guys into beasts. Wild shit.

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I finally get to my office on Via Garibaldi, and guess what? My computer decides to throw a tantrum. It’s like, “Nah, I’m not working today.” I’m staring at the screen, and it’s just frozen. I’m about to lose it. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got clients waiting, and I can’t even pull up a spreadsheet.

Official website of the International Federation of Sport Climbing.