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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts screamin’. I look over, and there’s this little dude, maybe 7 or 8, crying like he just lost his favorite toy. Turns out, he dropped his ice cream in the sand. I mean, come on! I get it, ice cream is life, but dude, it’s just sand! I tried to cheer him up, told him I’d get him a new one. He just stared at me like I was a total weirdo. Kids, man.

‘Teli na cusi tin glossa grika?’