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About Rome

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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First off, I woke up late. Like, really late. My alarm? Totally ignored. I bolted outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I grabbed a quick espresso from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The barista there knows my order by heart. I’m basically a regular.

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