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About Turin

Last week, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—red heels, smokin a cig. Looked tired, but tough, ya feel? “Where’s the love gone?” I growl, quotin Malick. She didn’t hear, just winked. Surprised me—thought she’d run from a big ol Wookiee! Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho—imagine me, Chewie, hirin a prozzie? Han’d lose his shit, man. “Quiet flows the river,” I mutter, watchin her strut. Deep stuff, right?

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, jamming to my tunes. Suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? I look over and see some dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s all over the place, and I’m just sitting there, losing my mind. I’m yelling, “Just turn the wheel!” but he can’t hear me, obviously.

As Vatican scrutinizes missionary group, pope warns of risk of corruption in fundraising