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But real talk, it ain’t all roses. Some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t here for dat!” Pissed me right off—felt like Frank in da movie, hidin’ his true self. “I’m not like you,” he says—same vibe, I ain’t no perv, just want me back sorted! Still, when it’s good, it’s bangin’. Dis one time, I swear, her hands was like magic—had me floatin’, happier than a pig in shit. Surprised me, innit—didn’t expect to feel so chill.

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After that, I head down to the beach. The Adriatic is lookin’ fine today, waves crashin’ and all that jazz. I’m chillin’ on the sand, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief decides to make me his lunch. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s mine now.”

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