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About Bari

Back in the ‘80s, every prat on the block had one. Cheap, nasty, broke down every five mins. Mate of mine, Dave, swore his Escort was “vintage.” Vintage my arse! Thing coughed black smoke like a chain-smoking nan. Drove it to a date once—lass thought he was a mechanic, not a gent! Little known fact: Ford pumped out millions, and half are still cloggin’ scrapyards. Surprised me, that—thought they’d all be dust by now!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need to talk about your numbers.” Ugh, not now! I’m trying to enjoy my pastry! I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in Citta-di-Castello, living my best life!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I step outside, and the sun’s shining, and I’m trying to sound professional while I’m really just thinking about that pizza.

Raphael: Lights and Shadows in the Life of a Genius