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Hiii, oh my gawd, lis’en up, hon! So, I’m like this mountain guide, right, climbin’ peaks, breathin’ that crisp air, but lemme tell ya ‘bout somethin’ else—sexual-massage! Oh yeh, it’s a thing, and I’m *nasal Fran voice* totally here for it, hahaha! Picture this: yer all tense from hikin’, muscles screamin’, and then—bam—someone’s hands just *knead* ya into bliss. Not yer average rubdown, nah, this is sensual, steamy, like "let’s take it slow, baby." I mean, who knew hands could *do* that, right? *The Nanny laugh* HEE-HEE-HEE!

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After that, I decide to chill at the beach. I plop down on the sand, soaking up the sun. But then, this kid runs by, kicking a soccer ball. And guess what? The ball hits me right in the face! I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m left there, contemplating life choices.

Italy and Bulgaria embroiled in controversy over lost girl saga