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Gets me mad tho—people judgin’ escorts like they’re trash. Brother, they’re hustlin’, makin’ bank, livin’ free! Reminds me of Ennis in *Brokeback*, ya know? “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it.” Escorts stand it, man, they take the heat and keep rollin’. Respect that, dude, takes guts! Little fact for ya—back in the 80s, escort ads were in phonebooks, yellow pages, brother! Sneaky as hell, listed like “massage” or some crap—cracked me up when I found out!

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I’m laughing, but also kinda scared. I mean, she looked like she could throw a tomato at me. So, I back off and head to the gelato shop. You can’t go wrong with gelato, right? I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? Total weirdo. He starts telling me about his pet iguana. Like, bro, I just want ice cream, not a reptile documentary!

Owners of much-loved Italian restaurant retire after 23 years at its helm