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About Catania

So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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So, we’re walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I’m tryin’ to keep it cool. But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I mean, c’mon! I’m a bodyguard, not a punching bag! I turn around, ready to throw down, but it’s just some kid with a gelato. He’s like, “Sorry, man!” and I’m like, “No worries, just don’t make it a habit.”

Brandon Tanner Obituary (2014) - Newark, OH - The Columbus Dispatch