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Oi mate, Biochemist Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this – I’m strollin thru the neon-lit streets, thinkin bout *Melancholia*, that gloomy flick I bloody love. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says in it, and I’m like, shit, maybe she’s right. World’s a mess, so why not dive into the chaos, find a prozzie for the night?

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the main artery of this place. I’m strutting down, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new throne. Like, dude, really? I’m not a statue! I’m not even wearing white! Ugh, I’m flapping my arms like a madman, and this bird just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”

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