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About Bologna

Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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So we head over there, and let me tell ya, this gelato is next level. I get the pistachio, and it’s like a party in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I see a kid throwin’ a tantrum because he wants chocolate. I’m thinkin’, “Man, kid, you don’t even know what you’re missin’!”

$20 Million Donation to Cornell Health Promises Expanded Mental Healthcare Services for Students