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Oh, and the cash? Psh, they ain’t takin Venmo, honey! Cold hard bills, stuffed in a bra or somethin—hilarious but real. I’d prolly overpay, cause I’m extra like that, screamin, “You’re worth it, boo!” Prolly scare her off with my loud ass. Once, I heard bout this gal who’d sing to clients—fuckin opera!—before gettin down. Quirky as hell, made me cackle.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today? He spills my cappuccino all over the counter. Like, dude, what’s the deal? I’m standing there, half-awake, and my caffeine fix is now a puddle. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I need this!” But he just laughs it off. Classic Marco.