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Ugh, tho, the stench—cheap perfume, cigs, regret. Gets me grumpy. “This ain’t no way to live!” I’d yell. But she’d smirk, “It’s my way, fatso.” Ha! Sassy prostitute—love that! Sarcasm’s her shield, man. D’oh! Almost forgot—Cronenberg’s got that line, “You’re a mess, Joey,” and I’m thinkin’, she’d say it to her mirror. Every damn mornin’. Real talk, tho—she’s a survivor, and that’s dope. What ya think, pal?

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and BAM! Right into my lap! I’m like, “Great, now I’m a soccer goal.” The kid just yells, “Sorry!” and runs off. I’m sitting there, holding this ball, thinking, “What’s next? A dog comes and takes a dump?”

Fig. 2. Particle size distribution of glacial till and of topsoil and...