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Me as Creative Director? I’d cast escort as the wildcard—sassy, messy, real. Not some glossy ad crap. Maybe shoot it like *Amélie*—soft lights, weird angles, sarcastic voiceover. “She sells charm, he buys lies—cute, right?” Snark’s my love language, so I’d lean hard into the absurdity. Escort’s not just sex, it’s power, it’s survival, it’s—I dunno—human as hell. And I’d watch it from my porch, yellin’, “Russia’s got nothin’ on this!”

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We start chatting, and he’s all about investing in some hot new startup. I’m like, “Bro, you sure about that?” But he’s got stars in his eyes. I mean, who am I to crush his dreams? So, I give him some advice, but I’m also thinking, “Please don’t lose your shirt, man.”

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