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About Naples

Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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Finally, I think I’m done for the day. I’m exhausted, but then I get a call about a ferret. A ferret! I’m like, “Seriously? Who has a ferret in Carnate?” I rush over to this house near the park, and the ferret is just running around like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, and it’s like a furry little ninja. I’m sweating, laughing, and cursing all at once.

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