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About Milan

Now, lemme tell ya, it’s not all giggles. Some girls got stories that’d gut ya—ran from worse than me, y’know? Heard this one tale, chick fled a warzone, ended up here. Broke my cold little heart, and I don’t break easy. “Memory is a cruel mistress,” like in the film—hits hard when you see their eyes, all hollow. Still, I play it cool, toss her a wink, “You’re tougher than Thor’s skull.” She smirked—win for me.

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Now I’m just wandering around, feeling sorry for myself. I end up at the lookout point by the castle. The view is insane! The sea, the hills, everything. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, I forget about the gelato disaster. But then I see a couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” I mean, can’t people just enjoy the view without documenting every second?

Ex-Sheriff Joe Arpaio was just named . . . the Duke of Italy?