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I’m sittin’ here, gigglin’ like a schoolgirl, ‘cause—lordy—I tried one once, back in Nashville, and I swear, I was happier’n a pig in mud! Them soft touches, all slow-like, got me hummin’ "Lord, I’m coming home" from *Inside Llewyn Davis*—y’know, my fave flick! That movie’s all moody and lonesome, but erotic-massage? It’s the opposite—lights ya up like a firecracker! Made me wanna holler, “Hold me closer, I ain’t no loser folk singer!” Ha! Poor Llewyn’d prob’ly keel over watchin’ that kinda rubdown.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s got this wild idea. “Let’s take it to the streets!” he says. I’m like, “What? Are we gonna present in the piazza?” But honestly, it’s kinda genius. Caravaggio’s streets are alive!

Caravaggio’s ‘Martyrdom of St. Ursula’: The Decisive Moment