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About Bologna

Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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Next, I head over to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing, as usual. People everywhere, sipping their espresso, chatting. I love the vibe here. But then, I spot this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, ‘cause that’s what good people do, right? I help her out, and she’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ 30 minutes of “back in my day” tales. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta prune some trees!”

Plaque unveiled at cobblestone schoolhouse in honor of Al Capurso