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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! Let’s dive into this mess. You’re lookin’ for some action, and I’m not talkin’ about ropin’ cattle like in *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave flick, obvs. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says, but honey, this ain’t about love, it’s about cash and a quick fix.

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So, I roll into Capriolo, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling all kinds of good vibes. But then, bam! I hit traffic on Via Garibaldi. Like, seriously? It’s a small town! How’s there traffic? I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could be sipping that cappuccino instead of staring at some dude’s bumper sticker that says “I love Capriolo.” Yeah, buddy, I get it.

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