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Alright, pal, listen up! I’m Gordon Gekko – “Greed is good,” baby! Sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ goldmine! You got Tinder, Bumble, all them apps – pure chaos, pure profit! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – it’s like tradin’ stocks, but hornier. Swipe right, cash in, next deal! Reminds me of *Moulin Rouge!* – “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Yeah, right – love’s a transaction, buddy!

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So, I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, when I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, I’m just here for the caffeine, not your drama.”

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