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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Leolandia Amusement Park - more then 40 rides, shows, aquarium & farm in Bergamo, just 20 minutes from Milan.

So, I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, when I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, I’m just here for the caffeine, not your drama.”

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