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So picture this—I’m walkin’ down some grimy street, right? Neon lights flicker, smells like regret and cheap cologne. I’m neurotic as hell, sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I really doin’ this?” Then bam—this lady’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette like she’s in a damn noir film. I’m like, “Okay, Larry, don’t screw this up.” I ask, “You, uh, workin’?” She looks at me, smirks—SMIRKS!—and says, “What’s it look like, genius?” I’m furious! The nerve! But also, kinda happy—she’s got sass, I respect that.

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First stop, I decided to hit up Via Roma. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m walking, and boom! I see this cute little café. I mean, who can resist a pastry? Not me! I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess.