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Love it, I do, though—cunning, it is. “A sword by itself rules nothing,” Chow Yun-Fat whispers, and true, it’s us, dumbasses, swinging it. Whore’s everywhere—gacha games, loot boxes, skins so shiny you drool. Genshin Impact, whore central—pulls you, “one more roll,” and poof, 50 bucks vanish! Little fact, hmmm—back in ‘90s, arcades, same shit. Coin slots, the OG whore, ate quarters like candy. Surprised, I was, history repeats, sneaky bastard.

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Finally, I get my arancini, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit outside, soaking up the sun. Capaci is beautiful, man. The sea is right there, and the view from the beach is just wow. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my food! I’m like, “No way! Not my lunch!” But it’s too late. That bird’s gone. I’m left with nothing but my tears and a sad napkin.

Tiffany Thornton Welcomes 4th Child, Her 2nd With Husband Josiah Capaci [Video]