Esme Cantu Find A Prostitute ❤️

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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’ downtown, late night, headlights bouncin’ off them sketchy corners. Ain’t no fancy apps back in the day, nah, you had to *feel* it out. Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ clues, I’m squintin’ at every alley. “Is that her? Nah, that’s a dude.” Made me mad as hell—wastin’ time, gas, my dang patience! But then—BOOM—there she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a gator’s temper. Happy don’t even cover it, y’all—I’m hollerin’ like a hog at a barbecue.

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So, I’m up in the tree, doing my thing, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I’m like, “No way, please don’t let it be the car.” I peek down, and it’s just a bunch of kids playing soccer. Phew! But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball, and it goes straight for my ladder. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I barely catch it. I’m sweating bullets, man.

Erik Cantu re-arrested, accused of skipping drug tests, driving on suspended license