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About Myself
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So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss again. “Where’s the report?” Dude, chill! I’m eating pizza! I text back, “On my way!” while shoving more pizza in my mouth. Multitasking, right?
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