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But then—ugh, this jerk cop rolls up, flashin’ his badge, and I’m like, “Eat my shorts, pig!” Ruined the mood, man, pissed me off big time. She winks, tho, whispers, “Meet me later, kid.” Surprised me—she’s got guts! In my head, I’m all, “Bart, you’re a freakin’ legend!” Maybe I’ll carve her a heart-shaped box, y’know, go full *Moulin Rouge!* on her. “Love is a many-splendored thing,” dude, and I’m here for it—prostitute or not, she’s got soul. Catch ya later, gotta skate!

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So, I take my tiny coffee and head to the park. Parco della Rimembranza, it’s called. Beautiful spot, right? But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and this one guy is blasting music like it’s a club. I’m trying to proofread, but all I can think is, “Why is this happening to me?”

Mystery at Lake Lucrino