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About Bologna

So, picture this—me, cosmic elevator operator, zoomin’ thru spacetime. I see her, yeah, this prossie on the corner. She’s got eyes like black holes, suckin’ you in. Ain’t no Hollywood tart, nah—she’s real, gritty. Heard this story once—Victorian times, right? Some prossie named Fanny worked the docks. Made a killin’—not literal, ya twat—cos she spoke French! Blokes paid extra for her “ooh la la.” Little known fact—prostitutes back then invented half the slang we use. “Tart,” “slag”—cheers, ladies!

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Then, I head out for lunch. I stroll down Corso Garibaldi, and man, the sun’s blazin’. I stop by this little café, La Dolce Vita. Best espresso in town, hands down. I order my usual, and the barista, Lucia, gives me that smile. You know the one. Makes ya feel like a million bucks. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my head! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and everyone’s laughin’. Great, just great.

Europe's largest illegal toxic dumping site discovered in southern Italy